Yet Another Reason to Live Another (Holi)Day

This is real. As real as Halloween and babies. Since when did Halloween cease to be about scary things, like witches, ghosts, ghouls and goblins? I don't want my kid growing up to be some kind of horror-holiday pansy who wants to dress up as a do-gooder like a super hero, or fireman. I want a kid who grows up to want to dress up as something frightening and creepy, that has fangs, drools blood, carries a chainsaw . . . you know, a member of the undead, blindly wandering around searching out victims and unleashing his evil ways upon the unsuspecting. You know, like a zombie. Or the President.

Unless you consider this to be super scary. Which, actually, it is. I mean, maybe this kid is dressed up like a piece of Sbarro pizza baked underneath a heat lamp in Penn Station, just waiting to be purchased by a former-real-estate-broker-now-meth-addict who has been living on a heat grate on 32nd Street. Yep, you're not smiling so much anymore, are you kiddo?! Maybe those aren't pepperoni. Maybe they're open sores. With chives.

I love holidays.